Guilt by Chris Morin

The argument was long and hard.
The night had not been fun.
I was not happy.
Something had to give.
I decided to leave.
I drove home.
It was a long ride and I was getting hungry.
I decided to stop off at a bar and grille.
Seeing that it was very busy for a Thursday night, I decided to sit at the bar.
The bartender came over and asked me what I would like.
"Dinner please." was my response.
As I browsed through the menu, I noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to me drinking what looked like a lemonade ice drink.
"Excuse me, what kind of drink is that?" I asked.
"Oh this?" she replied as she gracefully turned towards me.
She was wearing a low cut blouse.
"Why don't you have a sip and you can tell me yourself."
I was blown away by this. She was stunning.
She smiled back.
"Okay, if you don't mind." I said with a little laugh.
"It would be my pleasure." she said.
The liquid hit the back of my throat as I sipped through the straw - her straw.
I stared right into her eyes as it went down.
It was good.
"Wow! I think I like that." I said as a smile magically appeared on my face.
The bartender came back and asked what I would like.
"I would like the steak special and one of those." as I pointed to the woman.
Moments later, we were in deep conversation.
She asked me what I did.
"Not much. I am trying to figure some things out right now."  I said.
"Oh really." she said as she stared into my eyes.
What seemed like only minutes later turned into hours.
I lost track of time.
The poison was beginning to work.
She was still looking at me - into me - through me.
I was weak.
Finally she said, "You're a man right?"
"Of course I am. Why?" I was a little unsure as to where the conversation was going.
"I want you to prove to me that you are."
I was becoming aroused at what was happening.
"Come back to my place."
"Absolutely." I said.
The sex was passionate and furious and without restraint.
When it was over, I began to cry.
What I had done could not be cured.
Nothing could help me.
Guilt began to course through my veins.
"You were thinking of her." she said.
"Huh?" I tried to wipe the tears away but there was nothing I could do to hide my emotions.
She was right and she knew it.
I quickly got dressed.
I could tell she was disappointed.
"I'm sorry."
It was the only thing I could say.
I tried to say something, anything.
She stopped me mid-sentence.
"Get out."
I dropped my head further into my chest and closed the door behind me.
I opened the car door, sat down, closed it, put my head on the steering wheel and wailed like a baby.
I squeezed my eyes tighter than tight and the tears flowed harder than a morning downpour.
I cried so hard the sides of my face were red.
I had hurt my face from crying.
I had thrown everything special I had away.
Over nothing.
I did not know what to do.
We had had an argument and I had betrayed her.
"It was just an arguement!" I screamed.
"Just one! That's all!"
We had a good relationship, a loving relationship.
Now all that was left was guilt.
A week had passed and I still was a mess.
I couldn't eat or sleep.
I thought that maybe I could live with it.
Just put it out of my mind.
But I couldn't.
It would not go away.
There was always something there, something that could not be cured even with forgiveness.
The poison of guilt was running through my veins.
I decided I was going to tell her - be honest despite what had happened.
I sat her down one night to tell her.
Before I could start she said, "I have a confession to make. Remember that Thursday night we had a big fight. Well, you see, it didn't mean anything........"
Chris' Corner